wednesday wonderfulness
sorry this went up so late! I don't have tons this week, but there is plenty of reading.
- If you enjoyed Click, you'll like reading some of the essays from Feminist Coming Out Day.
- Loved hearing a ton of these cover songs.
- whaaat? I can make my own peanut butter cups? YES PLEASE.
- am I the only person that still loves death cab?
- um. apparently there's a bacon festival happening at dennys. OH NOES.
- so. Who do you want your man to be this summer?
- I'm so going to start doing this when I travel.
- is it weird that watching this video made me want a teeny tiny apartment of my own? Need to get rid of stuff...
- ok, so I read this article about slutwalking, and marked it to share. Then I read this rebuttal by the same site. I'm still not sure what I think, not entirely. Thoughts?
And with that I'm going to leave you...I need to go running!
Comments
When someone picks kids off the street and murders them, the blame is entirely his or hers. Not all kids who are murdered are picked up off the street by strangers, but would it be a horribly offensive idea that violates personal rights to advise a child to not hop in cars with strangers, or is that just basic common sense?
In an ideal world, we wouldn't have to constantly make mental calculations of risk/reward, but I really don't see the sense in pretending that a risk (even a small one) doesn't exist. Pedestrians have the right of way, but it's still wise to look both ways before you cross the street. It might be the driver's fault that they hit you, but you're the one who ends up with the broken legs.
Anyway, just my thoughts.
That said, have I always been careful about watching my drinks at parties or clubs? You betcha. Have I always had buddies and safety signals and have we always helped each other get men off of each other at clubs? You betcha. Do I arrange for rides at night, even from my campus? You betcha. Do I dress demurely? You betcha. None of the above saved a friend from being raped, murdered and robbed in our dorm by another friend we all knew and trusted. A rapist is a rapist is a rapist and it's always the rapist's fault. Always.
I guess the bit that made me think from the original article was this quote:
"We can all laugh when Dave Chappelle does his routine about women dressing like sluts at clubs getting offended when men make unwanted sexual advances..."
So often I've watched women dress to highlight their physical assets and then get offended by leers or catcalls. (Please tell me that a tight tshirt saying "my face is up here" across the boobs is ironic.) I'm not saying that leering and catcalling is acceptable behavior, and I hope that if I ever have sons I can raise them to be gentlemen. However, if we dress as sexual beings should we not expect a sexual response?
I guess what bothers me is the double standard of wanting a certain type of sexual attention from a certain type of guy and then being offended when one also gets sexual attention from guys who are not of the desired type.
Again: not talking about assault AT ALL. It's just that the juxtaposition of articles got me thinking about sexual attention in general and the ramifications of how we dress.
Is this making sense to anyone?
In fact, the only solution I've ever come up with was not to dress sexy at all. Or, in a rather demure "cute" way (aka "anthro") because I'm shy and I've never really wanted the kind of attention that baring skin attracts (I also seem to attract weirdos, though - never handsome/normal men).
Part of that is also that I am tall, so I always feel like I am bearing a lot MORE skin if I, say, put on a pair of short-shorts, than a woman who doesn't have a 36" inseam, you know? What is fine on others seems borderline indecent on me because the proportions are wrong.