wednesday wonderfulness

Hello, lovelies! This batch of awesome shall be tiny: I've spent the past two days with nasty flu-ishness, ruining le husband's birthday, and generally letting the house fall into rack and ruin. So I must race around like a madwoman trying to catch up before work today. On the bright side? It was vile weather while I was sick, but it's supposed to get gooooooorgeous starting today. Hooray!
Laters, lovelies!


outfit on a day that ended up being rainy

I've had this fantastic navy shirt for a while but haven't really been able to wear it because it needs skinny pants, and all I had in that category were jeans. But these skinny pale grey cords are really making it worth the $15 I paid for them. Also: bangs are clipped back because they were just too long and were being wretched. I trimmed them Sunday AM in a fit of rage, so they look much better now. Lewis does not approve of this photo business.
navy knit top: thrifted
grey cords: American Eagle
grey nine west heels, kenneth cole sunglasses: marshall's
flying pig necklace: target
earrings: rugged wearhouse

smiley happy mondayness!

I'm completely obsessed with this song right now, and don't really like the music video that goes with it, but this video? PERFECTION. They seriously managed to visualize what I feel when I hear that song. Lovelovelove. (They also managed to bring the images that I want to shoot to life.) Happiness indeed.

Amy + Dan from Ryan Southwell on Vimeo.


naked under all my clothes

I've debating long and hard on writing this post, but I figure maybe if I share what I've struggled through then maybe it will make it easier for us to be honest, to choose to think instead of react, to choose how we're letting our culture shape our brains. And then I decided that the post was narcissistic and potential blackmail and possibly self-pitying and therefore a bad plan. And then I read Marisa's fantastic post and decided that maybe, just maybe this was a good idea after all. Especially this bit:

I used to think that a bit of self-consciousness was fairly harmless, but now I realize – it’s a dangerous, paralyzing form of narcissism. It causes us to look with disdain on our flawed humanity and instead chase after an idealized image of perfection.
Wow. Let me think about that for a bit. It causes us to look with disdain on our flawed humanity. This humanity, this skin, this body that I fight with so hard, that I criticize so fiercely, is allowed to be flawed? Because I'm human. Hm.

Last summer I posted about a breakthrough I'd had regarding the wearing of shorts, and you all were lovely and supportive and fantastic. And last summer I lost some weight and everyone was lovely and asked how I'd lost weight and I said "Oh! Having a teenager in the house just makes one very conscious about what you eat. And I've started running again."

Which was partly true.

But you see, when the above photo was taken, when I had just barely managed to zip myself into that size two dress (and only because I'm flat-chested and the skirt was full), when I could pull size eight jeans off the rack and zip them without thinking twice, I wasn't really eating. And when I did eat, I was throwing at least a portion of it back up again.

I got a message from my sister yesterday, "So how have you managed to have the depression gene pass you by?" My mom is bipolar, and depression is something that we all seem to struggle with at times. I told my sister that I try to keep a handle on it with exercise and controlling my environment but then I started thinking about it and realized: that's not true. When the depression attacks me, when stress overwhelms me, I stop eating, I start obsessing, I start sticking my finger down my throat. I criticize my body, I try to look even more perfect, I control the things that don't really matter.

This isn't healthy, and I know it. And I want to be healthy. I have a 19-year-old living with me, and I although I yell at her when she starves herself to lose weight, secretly I'm doing the same thing. I have a 16-year-old who looks up to me, and I no matter how many times I tell her that she's beautiful, and she's lovely, she never quite believes it on the inside. And I understand.

Because no matter how many people tell me I'm beautiful, I don't believe them, not really. They're saying that to be nice. Or because they have to. Yes, I'm illustrating this with pictures of my butt. Because it's a really good example of what I'm saying. See the shot above? That's what everyone sees, and I'm told on a fairly regular basis that I have a nice bum. (Yes, I know: I have weirdly awesome oversharing friends.) But that picture below? The one with the cellulite and the squishiness? That's what I see. That's what I feel. And that's what I know is there, despite the makeup and the nice shoes and the fitted clothes.

Ultimately, I'm not blaming this on the culture. Because we get to choose how much we believe of what they tell us. I don't HAVE to compare myself with the pictures in magazines, but I choose to. I don't have to compare myself with anyone, actually, but I choose to. And then I choose to nitpick and whine and feel inferior.

So I'm throwing this out there: I'm choosing to be healthy. I'm choosing to learn to love my body. All of it. Even my nose and my "womanly curves." I'm choosing this because I'm tired of wasting time obsessing over myself, taking up brain space that could be spent taking over the world. I'm choosing this because I want my beloved E & L to be healthy, too. And they won't know how to if someone doesn't show them. I know I'm going to struggle, because it's much much easier to whine about myself than it is to work at health.

Anyone with me?


wednesday wonderfulness, the brief edition

I wanted to give you something, although I haven't had much computer time this week.
Loves, dear ones.


in search of the perfect *blue* shoe

So last week I was about and about trying on shoes and they had this pair at our local Marshalls. Now, normally I'm not a Carlos Santana fan, but surprisingly these were there in my size, so I tried them on. In person the color is a lot more intense, and I kind of fell in love with them. The print is borderline tacky, for sure, but the closed toe kind of balances things, and the heel height was perfect. I could picture wearing them with a fantastic little black pencil skirt/black dress/any outfit that needs a pop of color. Well, I didn't buy them, and when I went back the next day? GONE. So now I'm obsessing over blue shoes in general: it's one color that I don't own, and I like the way it can transcend seasons. (As always, click on the images to get more information.)

Aren't these fantastic for dancing? I love the two-tone, and the pale color is delightful. So spring!

I'm not as sold on these; they're a little too navy, I think.

Ok, these are definitely my favorite of them all. They look delightfully retro, I love the bright color, and I could see wearing them both with bare legs and with a pair of bright coral tights. Can't you? Seriously: pair these with a pale gray dress and you have your go-to wedding outfit for this year.

Little bit more sensible, little more office-friendly. Instead of a black pump, kick it up a little.

Fish scales! I just love this.

Not sure if I would like the ruffles in person. Would it look like toe fungus?

Um, I love these. All my favorite elements: platform, shiny, perfect toe. And a bright color. WANT.

So, lovelies, what shoes are you obsessing over this spring?


how to waste time on a Monday afternoon

My latest video picks. All are safe for work, small children, pets, etc. (I'm pretty sure. I don't THINK there's any swearing, but I had my sound on low.)

Ok, this is brilliant!

Diego Stocco - Music From A Bonsai from Diego Stocco on Vimeo.

I hope you are following the story behind the still, because it's super-interesting.

This made me giggle like a little girl.

DANCE! from CF on Vimeo.

Chucks! And stop motion! I heart.

Por fin SOLOS from naia muñoz on Vimeo.

Weird. And awesome. All at the same time.

Losers: Flush from Tom Werber on Vimeo.

happy monday!

This is sure to make your Monday brighter: the latest music video from She & Him. Hula hoops! Dancing in school! General Zooey awesomeness! Enjoy.

She & Him - In The Sun from Merge Records on Vimeo.


watch this, and shudder!

This is taped version of my speech last week at Ignite Sussex. Warning: I am heinously bad public speaker. You know, I spent an unprecedented amount of time in front of a camera last week.


you may now begin laughing your heads off

Because I totally dressed up to emphasize my resemblance to Flo the progressive insurance lady. And then taped it. I guess I have no shame?

wednesday wonderfulness

Happy Saint Patricks Day! I'm spending my day presenting at career day for local tenth graders, much to my delight. This is the third or fourth year I've done this, and I quite enjoy getting to talk to these kids. Anyway, on to the awesomeness.
Have an awesome rest of the week, lovelies!


::signs of spring::

My toes are painted, and it just happens that they are green in time for St. Patricks Day. That's really all I have for you, unless you happen to like crazy awesome mashups, in which case get thee over to DJ Lobsterdust.

signs of spring


I don’t understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little – if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that’s the day she has a date with destiny. And it’s best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.
- coco chanel


whiM: what happiness it's Monday!

Yay for awesome weekends and fabulous monday mornings! Things that make me happy today:
  • Daylight savings time has kicked in! Which means that it's light longer in the evening. This makes me veryhappy.
  • You can listen to the whole She & Him album for free here. Lovely, right? I think I need it.
  • I love this quote so much. In a movie that I adore, that's one of my favorite scenes.
  • I dressed up as Flo last week. Hopfully I'll get to see some stills from that this week.
  • I have decided that I need some bright blue shoes. I almost bought a pair last week, but they weren't there when I went back, but now I'm OBSESSED. Watch out Ebay.
  • It's getting warm! You have no idea how fantastic this is.
What are you happy for today?


what I want for spring

currently for spring I'm obsessing over: pale pink and gray together, floral prints, and ruffles.

glimpses from New York

Last week le husband an I took an overnight trip to New York City to see Wicked and expose my husband to the city for the first time. We learned a couple of things: my husband will never EVER live in the city (he was feeling claustrophobic after a mere 30 hours) and raw octopus is delicious. In addition, we managed to end up on the subway without any google maps, which led to an hour ride that may or may have detoured into brooklyn, got off on the wrong stop and walked across manhattan at 1 in the morning, and wandered through central park. It was a good trip.

Funny little birds who flocked around us at Shake Shack. (New York is always about the food for me.)
caterpillar french fry
Caterpillar fry! Yes, he loves shake shack, too.
statue of liberty
The non-touristy version of a statue of liberty picture.
Yay for spring!
ghost cathedral
Ghostly cathedral. I think this was a 3 second exposure?
I am such a creeper: I thought this couple was adorable, so I snapped off a shot of them while we were in Central Park.
stolen kiss
self-portrait in central park. We used my purse as a tripod.


nail polish = I'm on vacation
You can tell when I'm on vacation: I get to paint my nails.
lost umbrella
Forlorn umbrella.

film noir
Film noir?


alice decadence!

So apparently this video was inspired by Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (which I haven't seen yet) and I'm going to be honest: the song is kinda lame. But the video? GORGEOUSNESS. Watch it. In order to convince you, I've thrown up some screencaps that I grabbed. Lovely inspiration to get your Friday off to a great start!

living the life you want

Last night was the first-ever Ignite Sussex event, and I had the privilege of being one of the speakers. (Yes, I volunteered. No, I'm not sure why.) If you're not familiar with Ignite, the structure is kind of fun: five minutes, 20 slides, automatic timing. It's a little more difficult than it sounds, and I'm crazy. Yes, yes I am. But anyway, I was talking about taking the steps required to live a life you love, and since I want to get more milage out of them, I'm going to share some of my slides from last night, as well as give you the bulleted version of my speech.

True story: a lot of people say that who you are is more important than what you earn, but not many of them actually believe it. However, it's ok to not have a big house. Decide what is really important to you, and then don't be afraid of disparaging look. Refuse the temptation to get caught up in the comparison game. If that's what important to you, that's fine, but define what matters and then don't be dissuaded.

This might seem like a no-brainer, but it's incredible to me how many people have failed to ask it. What is that one thing that just thinking about makes you smile? Now find a way to make that thing your life. This can be a long process, but that's ok. Sometimes it takes a while to figure it all out. And sometimes it's a certain aspect of your job that you love. For me, there is this moment when you finally get people to relax, to drop their guard, and they look at the camera and that's the real them. THAT is the moment that I love. And that is why I can't take pictures of barns or trees: there is no real them for me to find.

Yup. At some point it's no longer sitting around brainstorming and there is actual work to be done. You would be amazed at the number of people who say to me "Oh, I've always wanted to be a photographer." Or writer, or musician, or whatever. Well, I have a harsh bit of reality for you: if something is important for you, you're doing it already. We make time for the things that are important to us. And maybe right now you can't get a job you love. Here's the best advice I've ever received from my dad: "If you can't find someone to pay you, work for free." If you're working then when opportunity comes you're ready and you're the one they'll turn to.

This is really important. Many people will think you're crazy for choosing to redefine success, and you need people who will not only cheer you on but will be willing to kick you in the pants when you're lagging. I can honestly say that there is no way I'd be living this life I love without the constant cheering and (loving) nagging of my sisters.

Don't waste time criticizing the bad. Get your butt moving and create something good. Find the best people in your field and immerse yourself in their work. Push yourself. Rethink your processes.

Above all: live your life.


wednesday wonderfulness

Well, it's a bumper crop this week, since I've not only had two weeks to gather links, but also since I've spent a TON of time on the internet this week. So. Onto the goodies.


it feels like springtime today!

It's in the sixties here today, and that makes me happy! So I busted out the white skirt, even though it's not yet memorial day. News flash: I don't care. It's too nice to care about such small details.

striped tee: gap
blue vintage cardi: thrifted
white vintage DKNY skirt: thrifted
black flats: Target
gold "flying pig" necklace: Target
gold hoops: Rugged Wearhouse
red flower: wal-mart

bits of philly

Saturday I spent a day in Philly with my fantastic sister and a couple of friends. Once again I worked on grabbing some delightfully touristy photos, and here are a few of them.